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Eclectic Ruiner

by Blame Kandinsky

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1.
Vague 02:11
Lies. Denial. Dark sets. Wrong patterns The truth will always come out in all kinds of wrong We shook hands with the devil and he was speaking in tongues and his few words unspoken made us believe that we can't let go of the leftovers of the past mixed with knowledge misunderstood that led us to the truth, someone somewhere has spoken. i don't know if it's real but i'm gonna learn how to make it easier we are still in confusion so if you're up in a good place make it last. tell me the secret to stay calm while demons are ripping out our guts savages in expensive suites guide us to consume in this wonderful life shall i start with a proposal? let's drink that shot and drive away, 200miles in less than an hour Stop when there're no more lights to guide, to guide you through these high roads keep walking and don't look back, straight ahead is that you are looking for keep calm and don't look back, close your eyes and run run run. we are the lost souls of all the wonderers that walked the earth let's take another round - let's take another round and celebrate
2.
Complicit 04:23
I'm sorry for the light that blinds you for a rusted heart like mine I'm sorry for I haven't tried it's hard to keep it inside I'm sorry for filling your emptiness with words that hurt you I just wanted to tell you it is so sad to wait for someone to come and save your life and I’m not talking about a savior no, about something beyond this world I’m talking about a pair of hands, a warm voice to keep you safe so sad to desire your absence more than your life Now you have left alone, no memories, no dreams at all just a bed, an empty house and your heart you stagnate like tears on a veil, you re stacked living the same day It feels like forever, so let us dream, lets wash our thoughts away you still remind me of something pure I feel it scratching in the back of my mind, lets dream together. Don't you see? we came here alone. We are in the void, we feel alone. Can't you see? we'll always die alone. Don't you see? I'm sorry for believing in a pair of eyes that are not even mine I'm sorry I wanted to keep all these colors when black is the only one I can stand I remember now, we are gross I remember now, we're used to loath I remember now, we don't deserve love I can see you now, could we ever start again?
3.
Ruined 03:34
we rewrote our story, precious, yet strange Another night, the same struggle reminds myself that I have to survive another day, counting the time, waiting for my flaws to bury me alive don’t look into my eyes, all you see, a tragedy at its best what makes me feel alive is aching in your hands your silence is killing me just bury your promise for better days I can't control my fears it's too late for me, for us now the truth is fine - a safe nightmare after all we came here to die this is the thing i am always good at, exposing myself once again to you this feeling is a nightmare, its ok, the truth is fine with one hand you give me all I desire and with the other you take it all back come away we used to share the same ground but now you're moving on without me i remember you saying you cheated death and all these thoughts still spinning in my head we used to share the same ground but now you're moving on without me emptiness drags me down and a fearful ruined heart is screaming come away
4.
Discomfort 03:33
We’re just wandering carrying mistreated thoughts Our back is cracking little by little by little And just a single tear is drifting from our eyelids it's crawling along the ground till it finds a hole As we're walking upon the dirt it's created Our feet keep sinking in we keep walking we keep sinking in Step by step. Day after day. Year after year after year after year We kept walking, we're now crawling What I've always cared for, taken away from me What I've always loved most, taken away from me What I've always dreamed of, taken away from me What I've always fought for, taken away from me I don't want to live like this anymore I don't want them to fear what you call hope I am cursed in blood something they fear, you give it back in return Something they don’t understand, you give it back in return Something they’re hiding from, you give it back in return Something they really need, you hide it from them They are cursed. I am cursed. We are cursed Rather than love than fairness give me hope Rather than fame than money give me hope We live in ignorance, in poverty, in total abuse I 'm struggling my thoughts are like leeches, I need hope We are the progress, we are the teachers We are the angels, we are the demons They call us martyrs, they call us sinners We are the dirt, we are bringing death
5.
Empty. 04:19
Empty.txt If i was left alone from the beginning, you'd have to search even deeper and deeper If you were never there for me that's cause you never tried to reach me If our struggle was all for nothing even the smallest act means something If i ll turn my back on everything that means that you gave up on me Where are you now? Why? Liar, you stopped believing in me. And there was blood And there was horror And there was pain in every way And then was you And it was you across me And there was hope And there were reasons And there were grips to hold on And it was you I had become And then was you And there were signs And there were colours Stronger than I could stand And then I felt half of what I needed to be Where are you now? Alone Where are you now? Again I had a vision i was thin like air and no one could see me, I was as light as a ghost But i was feeling heavy, because of a stone inside me, the same stone i was swallowing so long I was flying over everyone I was afraid of hurting someone I flew over the earth so many times till i was left alone i don't know where to go anymore, everywhere i feel the same it's hard to ignore the weight inside of me so i start sharing it with you and I’m walking by your side Now we’re in this together What a nightmare i share with you Now we’re in this forever I’m unable to stop and disabled to love again. Stronger than a lover, weaker than a winner.
6.
Piquerism 00:54
7.
Gertrude 04:45
What if our feelings might not be transparent? What if we are black figures and all our flaws are glowing? We all buy lies which bring us into comfort and we place our hearts in, we place our hearts in It feels like I'm making amends the wrong way or just a fake smile brings about a darkened day Existing. Waiting. hoping. loving. pleading. thriving. sharing. leaving. Into a new level of decisions I am making amends the wrong way and the mind has a say, the heart has a say. A child who takes all joy for granted is the parent who feels all love faded An honest apology takes time when procrastination does dub hesitation and conversations lead to isolation we're trying to tune ourselves into sincerity the final time to be upset when fish will no longer forget all seas will get dry, a story i can't tell, so many reasons we don't want what we get we won't thrive I want to die alone, in love with my grief, a world full of saints is my biggest fear I'm losing battle to battle, filling wounds with words, letter to letter I'm naked like a book Lost at sea, don't pass me by, everybody knows me now, my inside out Put your hearts before my feet I’m going down but not alone Please come and hear my words Please come bear with my pain please come to hear what I need to say it's time to be upset, i know i did my best, all seas are dry so we won't thrive Nothing but hell, a story i can't tell I am a saint - I am a saint now Turn my inside out Sinners and saints Turn my inside out Sinners and saints are all the same to me Tear me apart, Can i finally take that leap again for you?
8.
Lisp 05:08
Unfit to leave, absurb, arid and empty, a futile deal you can't refuse An occult lodge built up from desperation, fear of the quiet for past mistakes You're brave enough but drown in disappointment You're in need of guidance for the subliminal terror in you Are you rooting for me? Because i feel unlovable, still my feelings are disposable Leeches and suckers demanding a piece they're singing and yelling perpetual hits of birth, of chaos, of death, of grief. We are scars, charade, we are the broken cause, we eat our heart, we kill our sons What are we doing with all this fake romance? so many questions, so little significance, let's call it a day There's still time to bring back the meaning it takes some space to revive the feeling when life is hell, you get the important moments only when you go back Take a look at the boy who's grown, falteringly, all of his joy is gone Switching from clown to frown once again easily losing his ground His only thoughts don't match with the fashion, easily excited from any sign of reaction Stutters in shock and he talks with a lisp, trying to escape like rat from a sinking ship In grave times he believes we will crash Of great minds of quotes of the past From seizure to leisure Trying so hard that he's lost in weird sketches what life would look like when people return to their senses?
9.
Delusional 03:54
If you give a shot to the king, make sure he is dead When you leave something undone it can kill you instead There’s no room for trying again, no room for crying the pain away Cause my head is full of ghosts and it shifts into overdrive You tied my rope so tight even the sharpest iron can’t cut it off I live the same day everyday, don’t remember a thing from the past but I know everything about the future to come What a strange way to live your life Everyone is running chasing shadows with bare hands You can’t win something without asking your heart first I suppose I was born to survive even from the first breath And I spent my heart trying to find harmony in this odd world We cannot hide from the slipping of time Only ghosts we are chasing Only ghosts are chasing us
10.
Chasten 05:14
Erase me, grief is fading from within Replace me and relief is closing in Forgive me for not being what you want Forget me since you know that i fear this the most The most important thing in life, once they told me to always keep this in mind to be honest i don't remember it, I'm not known for my memory so lets hope that things will always get right and my thoughts will always get in line i don't care, or do i, if this is right what do u think of me, the only thing i know is that this is not a hate song the worst are yet to come, please help me to understand the deepest part of my heart the worst are always on time, I'm begging you to come again what the world would be like if i never existed A manic reaction with hectic impressions for i am a saddened man I keep away all love I feed on whatever feels wrong I'm curving my failure I'm doing whatever makes me feel more alone When i try to feel, while I'm feeling older there's nothing worse than bearing with the not knowing The only war, I've got to fight is in my head The only battle, i have to survive is with my self The only blood, i have to spill is from my veins The only treasures, i need to keep are the loots from this never ending struggle Powerless in loss - Whispering instead of screaming - God doesn't want me and the devil isn't finished.
11.
Ego. 06:05
We never ask the right thing We keep on doing circles, daydreaming It feels like never ending while we find no meaning In days of infamy we are still breathing So this is what i do now every night, bury everything i have in the dark till the morning light comes to bring them back again to remind me of this never ending focus on the end i still can't find the line between living and struggling still everything looks easy and hard at the same time i should have stopped to pay attention to the way we hold our heart we care more about ourselves than about making everything less disappointing we see but don't watch, we are loud but never clear - hey asshole you are thinking only what you want we hear only what we want, we feel unsafe staying inside our comfort zone - hey asshole you are thinking only what you want we used to take lies as something connected with our nature - hey asshole you are thinking only what you want we still do - we still don't - hey asshole you are thinking only what you want I can't stand to come to peace with my feelings I am convinced i don't need them Am i helpless or lost? there's so much space in my heart I keep collecting everything inside i can't choose but i always try to keep them in line, to know they are mine It's power - it's curse It's the final storm that's coming but all i see is sunshine in my eyes I don't want to see what god is showing me I don't want to hear what everyone is saying I don't want to see the black clouds coming I don't want to feel the cold air blowing It's the final storm that's coming but all i have is hope inside me I'm drowning

credits

released December 2, 2022

Recorded by Jacopo Fokas at Villa Giuseppe Recordings.
Assistant Engineers: Kostas Ragiadakos and Marios Samaris.

Mixed by Jacopo Fokas.
Mastered by Jens Bogren at Fascination Street Studios
Produced by Marios Samaris and Jacopo Fokas.

Artwork & Layout by Ultragrim [ultragrim.tumblr.com]

Venerate Industries 2022
www.venerateindustries.com

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Blame Kandinsky Athens, Greece

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